Lockdown Lashes

Few days back I received an email addressed to me:

Hello Sir,

Since lockdown I have been working from home and rarely go out and spend time with other people.

I see I have been losing interest in people or if I would reframe this so I'm not finding the type of people I can vibe with. I don't feel like connected with other easily.

I have same 2 people with whom I always spend time and when they are not there when I need them then I feel like I'm missing something.

It's not like I don't want to go out and spend time but I feel I'm not able to find the type of people I can bond with as all I stay at home mostly.

With new people online I don't feel like making an effort to talk and form that bond as online I don't feel comfortable to connect.

What should I do Sir in this case?

I know social aspect of human is very important to live a quality life and this has been impacting me unknowingly.

I'm sharing all this to get some perspective and how to approach this situation.

Please guide me, Sir.

Thank you and Regards.


My reply:

Dear ......

First my apologies for being so late. I read your mail when you sent it but was not getting time to respond. Yesterday I read your mail again and kept thinking on the issues, hence responding now.

We are all social animals. Being part of the society, we are interdependent entities. So whenever this interdependence is visibly broken we tend to feel uneasy. It is a natural phenomenon, hence you don't need to worry much about it. Recognising uneasiness is the beginning of problem solving. The lockdown conditions kept us all inhouse and drove us to disconnect with people physically, however we were active in an online environment. Machine interfaces can never be replaced with human interfaces because we have emotive faculties and our cognitive faculties are naturally designed and shaped which is not the case with machines. And that is the reason that we need human beings to interact, we need exchange of thoughts and views, we need touch, hug, shake hands, smile, laugh, feel, express and seek gratification or validation as the case may be. This is what keeps us growing and moving as individuals who recognize interdependence as a precondition of our existence in society. Individuals who are people oriented can not live without people so when they are kept in a condition that they cannot meet people they feel uncomfortable. It takes a toll on their mental wellbeing and also results in physical uneasiness. This is how I diagnose the problem.

As mentioned earlier, recognition of the problem is half the solution. So you are on the right track. Follow these steps:

• For sometime, go off the social media and restart interacting with family members, connect with old school/college friends with whom you might have lost touch.
• Reconnect with them, ask about their wellbeing and about the common interest you share with them. But keep one thing in mind this interaction should preferably be in physical mode and if not possible, through phone calling and NOT video calling.
• In the late evening, pick a diary and note down your experiences of interacting with them. This is a simple process but as we grow we tend to get into complex issues leaving aside simple things, so refocus on simple things.
• Speak the language that you are most comfortable with, let it be as natural as it can be.
• Be informal with the kind of people you think you should be informal with.
• Start appreciating flowers and ferns, color and combinations, chirping of the birds and sound of music.
• At times we get fed up with toxic people around, so get away from them.
• I know you are a very positive person who is filled with a sense of optimism and exploring possibilities. So keeping this strength in mind, initiate talking to some random people, start helping people without any expectation.

You would certainly start getting positive results after practicing and experiencing this for just one week. I shall look forward for your email on the 13th May 2022. So mark this date and positively reply.